Four arguments and a barbeque
by name-me
Summary: One night, lots of drama and of course our favourite CSIs... and a dog! Sara has a problem at home but isn't keen to share. Can she keep it together or will it ruin the party? Set way back in late season 5 ish. Some GSR. Deals with domestic abuse.
1. Chapter 1, The car incident

**So I've not written in ages but I had this idea that I couldn't get out of my head so thought I'd share. Let me know what you think and if you guys want me to carry on. **

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Sara was not stupid. She knew alcohol was not going to solve anything. In fact, she was well aware that quite often it only made things worse. And she certainly knew that drinking alone was, at least for her, more than a little self-destructive. But right now, midway through her third bottle of beer, she didn't care. She slowly turned the bottle around and around between her fingers leaving a trail of condensation along the bar. She watched as it formed a puddle and eventually was soaked up by a beer mat. She had no idea how long she had been sitting there.

"Penny for your thoughts?" The bar tenders voice made her jump a little. She looked up and gave him a polite smile.

"Thanks but I'd rather not." She mumbled. He nodded, squinting at the obviously troubled woman who sat before him.

"You sure seem to be concentrating pretty hard on that bottle." He tried again.

"It's a particularly good beer."

"And there's nothing more to it?" She bit bottom lip, considering this.

"No," She lied. "That's it. I just really like Budweiser."

"Ok if you insist."

"I do." She smiled. "Thanks though." The bar man nodded. He knew when he wasn't going to win someone over but she had seemed like the kind of woman worth trying to help out. He wandered back to the other end of the bar leaving her along with her thoughts again. She sighed and took another large mouthful from the now near empty bottle.

She felt the phone vibrating in her pocket before she heard it ring. She was tempted to ignore it and not even check who was calling but then thought better of it.

NICK S

She tightened her grip on the hand set, hesitating again before answering.

"Hey." She said quietly. Honestly Nick was the last person she was in the mood to talk to right now. He was one of her best friends and while she normally loved his southern charm and constant attempts to keep her head above the ever more grey and murky waters of Vegas, right now, she just wanted to be alone.

"Hey Sar, I was beginning to think you weren't going to answer." She didn't reply, just shifted uncomfortably on her stool. "But hey, I'll be with you in 5."

"With me?" She asked, confused.

"Yeah, to pick you up for Catherines party." He explained, flicking on his indicator and turning onto Saras road.

"Oh God Nick, I'm sorry." She dropped her head onto the bar quietly cursing herself. "I'm actually not home right now." She said vaguely.

"Don't tell me you forgot."

"Well sort of." She admitted slowly. There was no point in lying now. Nick rolled his eyes as he pulled over to the side of the road. It wasn't like Sara to forget something like this but then she had been acting oddly all week. He tried to hide his annoyance.

"Well where are you? I'll come and pick you up."

"No Nicky that's ok. I'm not sure I'm up to much tonight anyway." She admitted.

"No argument Sara." He said before she had a chance to make any further excuses. "We've not all been off together in so long, you can't flake out on us."

"Nicky…"

"I said no argument Sara." He insisted quickly. When she didn't answer he spoke again. "At least tell me where you are." She sighed and told him. He was right, they hadn't been off together in months and all she needed to do was make an appearance for an hour or so and then she could leave. She downed the last of her drink and shuffled into the bathrooms. She washed her hands and splashed some water onto her cheeks. She looked tired and she knew it. She pulled a lip balm form her bag and slowly drew it across her lips but it did little to help. She tugged the tie from her hair and ran her fingers through the dark strands. She shrugged, fairly sure that this hadn't helped either but residing to the fact that there wasn't much else she could do in the toilets of her slightly run down local bar. By the time she came out Nick was already waiting for her.

"Hey there gorgeous, fancy seeing you here." He smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Been getting a head start on the rest of us huh?"

"Yeah something like that." She smiled but didn't really make eye contact. "Shall we go?" They walked out to the car in silence. It was still hot outside and the air conditioning was a welcome break. It made Sara realise just how stuffy the bar had been.

"So do you drink there often?" Nick asked eventually. Sara shrugged.

"Not often. The place is kind of a dive really."

"Yeah I could see that." There was a long pause. "So… were you there alone?" He asked.

"There were a few other people around." She said.

"That's not what I meant." She had known that anyway, was just hoping to avoid the inevitable questions which would follow her answer.

"Yes, I was alone." She replied, staring out of the window ahead.

"Oh." Was all he said, not entirely surprised that she didn't volunteer up any further information on the subject. They sat quietly for a couple of minutes before Nick spoke again. "Want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever had you out drinking alone." She shrugged. "And now has you sat in silence." He pushed.

"What makes you think there's a reason?"

"Because I know you Sara and I can tell your mind is working overtime on something."

She shook her head. "It's nothing." She lied.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"If you insist." She rolled her eyes. It was the barman all over again. Her phone rang again, she looked at the screen but this time didn't answer.

JAMES

She hung up.

"Who was that?"

"Nobody." She said, rather too shortly. It rang again and again she hung up.

"A pretty persistent nobody."

"Yeah well he can persist all he wants, I'm not picking up." She said bitterly.

"So it's a guy." Smirked Nick but Sara gave no response. "You know no guy is worth that frown." She just glared at him. "Come on Sara admit it, your mind's been elsewhere all week."

"And that automatically has to be down to some guy."

"Specifically the guy that has just called you twice…" Saras ringtone interrupted him before she quickly hung up. "Make that three times in the last five minutes."

"Well it's not." She said firmly.

"But you admit something is bothering you."

"That's not what I said." She found him intensely annoying sometimes and today she was really not in the mood.

"But that's the point, you didn't have to say it, I can tell."

"Because you know me so well?"

"Well yeah." He was a little hurt by the tone in which she had said that and he couldn't understand why she seemed to be picking a fight with him over this, he was only trying to help.

"Then you'll know when to leave me alone."

"Come on Sar, I'm only messing around."

"Well don't ok." She snapped. If her phone hadn't rang again at that exact moment, the day may have panned out quite differently but as it was, the phone did ring, and it pushed Sara over the edge. "Arrrrgh." She hung up and threw the phone at the wind screen.

"Alright Sara, no need to take it out on the iPhone." He joked. It was a bad move.

"But if its broken then he can't keep calling and everyone can just leave me alone." She said bitterly.

"It's really that bad huh?"

"Yes."

"So…. That's it? Its bad, life sucks but you don't want to talk about it?"

"Yes."

"So you do want to talk about it?"

"No." He was really pushing it now and Sara could feel the anger physically rising inside her.

"Ok, if you say so."

"Yes Nick I do say so, so will you just drop it!" Deep down she knew it wasn't really Nick she was mad at but he was there, trapped in a car with her, and he was an easy target.

"Ok Sara, calm down." He said, bringing the car to a stop as the lights turned red. He glanced sideways at his friend. He has rarely seen her so pissed. She drew her eyes from the road too and turned to look at Nick, whos face drew up into a smile.

"What?"

"Nothing." His smile grew wider.

"You think this is funny."

"No." He said, bringing his hands up defensively in front of him. "You just look curt when you're angry." Her face dropped and she stared at him blankly for a second before shaking her head and unfastening her seat belt.

"You know what, fine." She opened the door and started to climb out.

"What… where are you going."

"Home."

"Sara, come on."

"No Nick, I asked you to drop it and you… you just didn't."

"I know but…."

"You're so annoying!" She slammed the door and started to march down the road. Nick was shocked. True it was like Sara to avoid the problems in her life but not like this. He rolled down the window, waited the few short seconds it took for the lights to turn green again, and started to slowly follow her down the thankfully quiet street.

"Sara, what are you doing?" He called after her.

"Going home."

"Don't be ridiculous Sara, get in the car."

"So now I'm ridiculous?" She turned and glared at him, pausing for only a second before continuing on her way.

"No, but you are being a little childish." She just laughed bitterly but he didn't hear her. "It'll be a long walk." He tried. "It's pretty hot out." Still nothing. "And you've been drinking."

"It was three beers Nick, I'm hardly drunk." She still didn't look at him but did slow down just a little.

"Three beers, on probably no food. And on no sleep. I can tell you've not been sleeping you know."

"Leave me alone Nick." She said, feeling for the first time like the anger was lifting and her voice was cracking.

"You know I can't do that." She stopped and slowly turned to face him, tucking her hair behind her ear so he could see her face. "Besides," He said gently. "I have your house key in my car." She knew he was right. "So will you get in the car?"

"Dam it, fine." She opened the door and slumped down in the seat. "But no more questions."

"None."

"And promise you'll just let me wallow in my bad mood… and you'll be less annoying." She added.

"But…"

"Promise?" He sighed.

"Ok I promise." She gave him a small smile then turned to resume her previous position of staring out at the road ahead. He sat looking at her, genuinely worried about what it was that was troubling her but glad at least that she had gotten back into the car.

"Lights green Nick."

"Huh?"

"The lights." She gestured to the traffic signal. "Green for go. We have a barbeque to go to right?"

"You sure, I mean we don't have to…"

"Nick…" She warned.

"Ok, ok." He smiled and drove on.

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**To be continue soon if you all want it to be...?**

**Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2, Seeing the marks

**Thanks to all for reading chapter one. So this chapter doesn't fully explain what's been going on but stick with me, it'll all become clear soon! Enjoy :)**

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Catherine spritzed some perfume on her bare neck and looked at herself critically in the mirror one last time. It was only her colleagues that were coming to the barbeque she'd arranged but it was still nice to look good for them. Satisfied, she headed back into the kitchen where her mum was finishing off the final touches to the over-sized bowl of salad she had prepared.

"I get the feeling we've forgotten something." She said glancing around the room.

"Well as the responsible adult here I probably shouldn't point this out but if a barbeque has meat and beer, I'm sure everyone will be happy."

"True." The younger woman replied, then, "Hey, I'm responsible!"

"Yes dear." Her mother smiled. "And beautiful with it."

"Yes well…" Catherine said a little uncertainly. She was wearing a deep red summer dress which hugged her figure perfectly, her blond hair falling in soft curls over both shoulders. "Do you think we have bread?" she asked, changing the subject back to what she considered safer ground.

"Stop fussing Catherine, everything looks fine."

"Desert!" She suddenly realised. "I don't have anything for desert."

"Good job one of us has things under control then." Catherine turned at the sound of the mans voice in the doorway. Grissom stood smiling at her with two large plastic boxes, Catherines daughter Lindsey having just let him into the house.

"Good job indeed." She grinned, taking one of the boxes and placing it on the counter. "You didn't have to do this though."

"Well apparently I did." He joked, lifting the lids to reveal his masterpieces; two beautiful handmade pavlovas.

"Wow I'm impressed." Catherine smiled. "Thanks Gil." She gave him a small hug. "Can I get you a drink?"

"I'll have whatever you're having." He replied. He graciously accepted the glass of sangria she handed him. "Hello Mrs Willows." He turned addressed his friends mother. "Lovely to see you again."

"And you." She smiled. "But don't worry, I wont be here cramping your style for long, I'm just Lindseys chauffer for the evening. She has cinema trip and sleepover planned." She explained. "Insisted she get to see everyone before she left though." She smiled. "Don't tell her I told you that mind."

"My lips are sealed." On cue the girl in question came into the room with Grissoms dog Hank in toe.

"You're drinking my punch." She smiled.

"You made this?" He asked, giving the dog a warning glare as he started sniffing along the kitchen work surfaces. He took hold of his collar, giving Catherine an apologetic smile, not that she seemed to mind.

"Well I cut up the fruit. Mom wouldn't let me taste it though." She said hopefully.

"Nice try young lady." Catherine smiled. Lindsey just rolled her eyes and Grissom laughed at the teenagers attempt. Everyone headed into the garden soon to be joined by Warrick, Greg and Wendy. The boys happily set about discussing their strategy for lighting the barbeque while Hank and Lindsey kept each other entertained playing a rather energetic game of fetch. While Hank understood her had to bring to ball back to his companion or the afternoon, he didn't seem to grasp so well the idea of actually dropping the ball so she could throw it again. The sight of Lindsey wresting with the large brown boxer had Catherine in stitches while Grissom for his part just cringed at how badly trained heriss was at this simple game.

Henry and David Hodges were the next to arrive, Hodges making an immediate bee line to talk with Wendy. It was pretty clear she was out of his league but everyone had to admire his persistence with her.

By the time Nick and Sara finally arrived the party was well underway with Gregs ipod now featuring as the sound track, him and Warrick having vetoed Lindsey's choice of girly teen pop. Sara did a good job of putting on a happy front, giving their host a warm welcoming hug. She was aware of Nicks watchful eye though so politely declined her initial offer of a drink. She perched herself next to Grissom and Catherine to join their conversation, not that she had much input and found herself mostly just nodding and laughing at the appropriate points. She found though that she just wanted to avoid the other boys for a while until the uneasy felling she had following her argument with Nick had lifted. And eventually it did lift and to her surprise, giving the kind of morning she'd had, shoe actually found herself enjoying the party atmosphere.

After a short while, it was time for Lindsey to leave and her mother called her over to them. She ran across the lawn, Hank obediently following behind at high speed. Grissom could see the look of total over excitement on his face but failed to act quickly enough as the dog launched himself at Sara, planting his muddy feet on Saras chest. The impact hurt far more than it should have and Sara took an unsteady step backwards, failing to hide the discomfort on her face.

"Hank get down." Grissom commanded roughly, grabbing the dogs collar and pulling him to the floor, not before he managed to drag his feet down Saras jean too. He quickly turned his attentions to her, placing his hand gently on her back.

"You ok?"

"Yes, of course." She said quietly through gritted teeth. She saw the uncertainty in his expression. "Don't worry about it Griss, it's fine."

"Maybe I shouldn't have brought him." He said, glancing down to the Hank, who was sat at his masters feet, happily panting away, blissfully unaware of the trouble he was in.

"Really Grissom, it's fine." His hand was still on her back but neither of them seemed to mind.

"Besides you're the only one who brought a 'plus one'." Catherine added, "Tragic really that between us all we can muster up is dog." Sara laughed, but quickly stopped as is sent a pain across her chest again. "Here, why don't we go inside and get you changed." She said to the younger brunette.

"You don't have to…"

"No come on, I insist." Sara glanced down at the mud stains on her clothes and no nodded, following Catherine and Lindsey inside. Grissom watched them leave then looked down at his dog and his big, brown, gentle eyes.

"Don't look at me like that." He muttered quietly, shaking his head at how incapable he was at staying mad Hank, even when Sara was involved.

When the girls made it inside, Catherine led Sara into her bedroom. It was large and beautiful room, pretty much as Sara had imagined it would be; immaculately tidy with a big and somewhat inviting looking bed at its centre. God she felt tired all of a sudden.

"I don't think my jeans will do on those long legs of yours…" Catherine commented, her head buried in the wardrobe. "But these will do the trick I think… or these." She threw two pairs of denim shorts at the bed and started to rummage in her chest of draws. "And I'm sure one of these will look great on you." She smiled, placing a small pile of tops into Saras outstretched arms.

"Thanks." Sara smiled.

"I have a couple of dresses that might fit if you prefer?" Catherine offered sensing Saras uncertainty.

"No I'm sure these will be great." Sara assured her. "Thanks Cath, I really appreciate this."

"Don't mention it." The blond smiled. "I'm just going to see Lindsey off ok but shout me if you need anything." Catherine left, leaving Sara alone to change. She stepped out of her jeans and into one of the pairs of shorts which fit really nicely, even if they were a little short compared to Saras usual taste. She pulled her vest over her head, wincing again as she raised her arms. She looked down at herself and saw for the first time the large purple bruise that was forming over the last rib and spreading over the whole right hand side of her body. She touched it gingerly, drawing a sharp intake of breath at the pain. She didn't know if it was broken, only that it hurt, a lot. She cursed herself for her stupidity and found herself wiping away a single tear of utter frustration. She had promised herself a long time ago, as a child even, that she would never let herself get into this situation. She sighed, and temporarily shook the thought from her mind as chose the plainest of the tops Catherine had pulled out for her and slipped it over her head. She gently smoothed down the fabric and looked at herself in the full length mirror. It was only then she noticed the marks developing on her arms too. She swore to herself, they were bound to become more obvious over the next few hours and she didn't want everyone asking her questions. She looked around the room and spotted a navy cardigan hung on the back of the door. She shrugged, sure Catherine wouldn't mind and slipped on the loose fitting garment. It was hot outside but it would be worth it to avoid the looks she knew the bruising would bring. She piled her dirty clothes neatly on the floor and made a mental note to collect them before she left then with another heavy sign, returned to the party.

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**TBC soon...**

**Reviews make me happy :)**


	3. Chapter 3, How to make a man worry

**Thanks for all the reviews so far, please keep them coming. Some of you have probably guessed where this is going by now but all will be reviled soon I promise, just stick with me!**

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Sara walked back out into the garden, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the sunlight. She was greeted by the sound of Greg, standing still with Nick and Warrick, giving her an enthusiastic wolf whistle. Nick gave him a stern glare and punched him in the arm, feeling more than just a little protective over his friend today. She chuckled to herself and headed over to greet the boys.

"Hey." She smiled shyly, her eyes on the floor.

"Don't you scrub up well Sidle?" Greg carried on his gentle teasing, though actually meaning his words.

"You too Greggo," She returned his compliment. "Though I can't say so much for your music taste." His face dropped in mock horror. "This is your play list right?" She gestured to speakers, shaking her head in disapproval. Nick smiled to himself at the two friends laughing together, at least Sara seemed a little more relaxed now than she had earlier. It hadn't gone un-noticed to him however, how uncomfortable she had seemed following her collision with Hank and it had done nothing to ease his concern for her. He turned his attention back to the barbeque, which he had just lit, using his credibility as a Texan to win the battle over who should be in charge. It was however, not quite going as planned. After a moments contemplation, he squirted another dose of lighter fluid at the hot coals, the flames dramatically leaping up making everyone take a sudden step backwards.

"That ought to do it." He laughed.

"You'll be taking the rest of us with it too at this rate!" Warrick joked. "You sure you know what you're doing man?"

"Do I know what I'm doing? Of course I know what I'm doing. It's in my blood!" He said dramatically. Warrick rolled his eyes.

"In that case, I'm going to go and talk to the none-pyromaniacs over there." He said, turning to join Catherine and Wendy, Grissom having now been cornered by Hodges.

"Hey Sara can you pass me the grill?" Nick asked gesturing to the floor beside her, satisfied that the coals were ready.

"Of course." She turned and bet down to pick up the metal rack but instantly regretted the sudden movement as pain shot up her side. She did little to hide it and had to steady herself on the wall, her face contorted in obvious discomfort. Nick was instantly at her side, his palm resting her back. He helped her stand, his other hand under her elbow.

"You ok?" He asked quietly in her ear, not wanting to draw any more attention to this than he already had. He knew Sara would be less than happy if Greg started asking her questions too.

"Just pulled something I guess." She blagged as she ran her hand through her hair, pulling it away from her face to reveal a forced smile. She was beginning to worry more now that may she had broken a rib, this kind of pain was more than just a simple bruise.

"You sure?" Concern was etched into Nicks gentle features.

"I think I might just go sit down for a while." Trying to avoid the subject she turned to Greg. "Leave you boys to it." Nick watched her walk away. He knew something was very wrong but with everyone around he could do little about it. He watched as she sat herself on the low garden wall in the shade, noticing her shifting uncomfortably as she tried to settle. Her gaze was focused on the floor, her hair falling over her face, but he didn't need to see her expression to know it was sad. He just wished she would talk to him. He forced himself to look away, conscious again of drawing attention to his concern for her.

Sara wasn't alone for long however. Hank soon padded over to her and placed his head on her knee by way of an apology for his earlier behaviour. She smiled at him, taking some comfort in the repetitive motion of stroking his strong head. She wasn't sure how long she'd been sat there when Grissom also joined her, his greeting catching her by surprise and making her jump.

"See you're making friends." He smiled. She looked up and smiled also. "May I?" He gestured to the space beside her and she simply nodded in response. He sat, holding out a glass of sangria to her. "Drink?"

"Thanks." She smiled gratefully and took a large mouthful of the cool liquid. "It's good."

"Lindsey cut the fruit." He cringed inwardly at his awkwardness.

"Good to know." She smirked. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, but neither of them minded. Eventually Sara spoke up. "So, his name's Hank huh?"

"He was already called that when I got him from the shelter." He said, all too aware of the somewhat disastrous relationship Sara had shared with a Paramedic of the same name. He's always felt a little responsible for that.

"Right." She smiled, not sure if she believed him.

"Sorry he was so… enthusiastic earlier." He said, taking a moment to choose his words. "I'm still working on his training."

"It fine." She insisted again. "He's cute."

"That's one word for it." He sighed. Silence fell over them again but this time it was Grissom who broke it. "You seem quiet." She looked up at him. "That's not a criticism," He added quickly. "I'm just making sure everything's ok." She bit her bottom lip, considering this. It was frustrating that everyone read her so well. "Not that I think you need looking after, I just…" His words trailed off and he laughed, embarrassed by the look of amusement now spreading over Saras face.

"It's fine Grissom. I'm fine." Her voice was quiet, uncertain he thought. "Long week." She said by way of an explanation when she saw he wasn't convinced. Grissom nodded in acknowledgement though the statement did little to answer his question, only brought up more if anything. The last week at the lab had been fairly uneventful, not quiet, but not really noteworthy as far as cases were concerned. That meant that if she was being truthful, there was something at home that was bothering her, which worried him. He rarely got involved in is colleagues personal lives, knowing he wasn't very good at dealing with emotions and "real life" as Catherine liked to put it. But it was inevitable that this rule would sometimes need to be broken. There were moments of course with all of the team where this rule was broken, most recently with, Sara, the object of his current anxieties. It had been some time ago now and after what had been a genuinely difficult week at work: she has been thrown from a case, threatened with redundancy and then found herself in a situation where she was revealing things about her past she had hoped nobody would ever need to know. It had been an uncharacteristically weak and emotional moment for her and in truth, she wasn't even sure how she had gotten there. But she had, and Grissom had been there to provided, all be it mostly silent, support, and she would be forever grateful for it. Grissom for his part had been strangely grateful for it too, however wrong it may have been to feel that way about it, for he had finally broken through the walls. True she had quickly rebuilt them and they had carried on with their lives as though the event had never even happened, but it had given him hope that one day he could pull them down for good. Given him hope that if one day she needed him again, she would feel she could talk to him, no judgement passed. He only hoped that if today was that day, his hopes would be realised. He watched her carefully as she turned the glass nervously around in her hands, her eyes fixed on the fruit pieces bobbing around on the surface.

"Top up?" His gentle voice broke through the silence that had fallen over them again.

"Oh no, I'm good thanks." She held the still half full glass up to him. He nodded. Then after a moment he went to speak again but was cut short by Greg calling his name.

"Hey Grissom, I think we need a hand."

"Everything alright Greg?"

"Right now it is, but I worry the lab will be out of action next week if someone doesn't intervene with Nicks attempts to give us all food poisoning!" Grissom got to his feet and gave Sara an apologetic smile.

"Go," She said, then on seeing his hesitation she gave a more forceful, "Go on. I'm going to take Hank around the front anyway. I figure he could use a bathroom break." Grissom nodded and left her sat alone with Hank again.

"So I've been elected chef have I?" He asked as he arrived at Gregs side. At some point while he had been talking with Sara, Jim Brass had arrived, as had David the coroners assistant, though Doc Robbins himself was absent due to a family gathering. The man all gave each other a nod by way of a greeting.

"Well Catherine informs us you're somewhat of a culinary genius, so yes."

"I'm not sure that's an official qualification." He smiled up at Catherine who just shrugged, a playful smile crossing her lips.

"Well neither is 'I'm from Texas, home land of the barbeque' but that's how we elected our last chef." Greg reasoned.

"Actually the word barbeque is thought to originate from a Caribbean word, though it is the southern states that perfected the technique we know today. So technically…"

"You just know something about everything don't you." Nick smirked, shaking his head in disbelief. "And while I resent the accusation that I would poison anyone, I shall hand my tools over to the man in charge for fear of further ridicule." Grissom hesitantly took the tongs that Nick offered him. Barbeques were always more of a social way of cooking and eating and therefore something he was a little unfamiliar with, not that he would admit it. "I'm going to get another beer." Nick announced. "Anybody else want one?" His friends put in their orders and he made his way over to the table and ice box of drinks. Warrick was there too getting himself and the lab rats another round. He didn't fail to notice Nick freeze mid beer selection to watch Sara as she walked by.

"Everything ok with you and Sara?" He asked, making Nick snap his attention and eye line back to his friend. He raised his eyebrows by way of a question. "You've been watching her like a hawk since you got here."

"I have?" Nick said nonchalantly, very much aware that it was true.

"Yeah man, and don't try to tell me you're just admiring the view…" Nick gave him another questioning look. "Sara with her legs out." He explained. "Not something I thought I'd ever see. She's looking good!"

"Oh right." Nick replied, clearing his throat. He had been trying desperately not to think about that. She was his friend and they knew far too much about each other for them to ever be anything more so those kind of thoughts were just plain weird.

"So…" Warrick prompted, snapping Nick from his thoughts. "You and Sara..?"

"So there's nothing to tell. She says she fine."

"Says she's fine or she is fine?" Nick shrugged.

"Is fine I guess." His eyes wandered again to the doorway he's last seen her go through. "Why, has she said something to you?" Warrick shook his head, his beer bottle still in his mouth.

"You sure everything's ok man?" He asked uncertainly, starting to worry himself a little now.

"Yeah, yeah I'm sure." Nick was glad of the interruption when Catherine appeared behind him, a hand placed on each of his shoulders.

"What you doing with those drinks Nicky?" She asked, her tone light and playful. "You should know better than to keep a lady waiting."

"My apologies Catherine," He handed her a glass. "Won't happen again." He placed a small kiss on her cheek with a mischievous grin.

"Apology accepted cowboy." She winked at him and then taking hold of another glass offered to help him carry the rest of the drinks. They returned to the rest of their friends to be greeted by cheers as they handed around the bottles and glass. They were all laughing and joking, even Grissom seemed to be getting into the spirit. Nick though couldn't shake the feeling that Sara had been gone just a little too long. After 5 minutes or so, his beer finished at lightening speed, he made his excuses and headed off to find her.

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**TBC very soon... like tomorrow I hope. x**


	4. Chapter 4- The unwanted man

**Thanks so much to those of you who have left reviews so far and are following the story :) Hope you like this new chapter and as always, let me know!**

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Sara felt physically sick. Her feet seemed frozen to the ground and she could hear the blood rushing in ears. She was only a few feet away from the house when she saw him, James, the man who was causing her so much pain, mentally and physically. After what in reality was only a few short seconds, thought it felt like much longer to Sara, she recovered from the initial shock and regained control of her limbs. She turned to walk back to the house but Hank seemed to have other ideas and was being less than cooperative. She tugged harder on his lead, silently begging him to follow her but it was already too late. She could hear him calling her name, the sound of his voice making her stomach do summersaults.

"Sara, hey Sara wait up!" He ran across the street to greet her. She pulled again on the dogs lead but he seemed keen now to greet the new arrival.

"Come on Hank." She said through gritted teeth refusing to look up at the man now stood beside her.

"Hey Sara don't be like that." He said, placing his hand on her arm.

"Don't touch me!" She spat, attempting to shake his hand away but to no avail.

"Come on, I only want to apologise." She could have almost believed him.

"Well I don't want to hear it." She tried to pull her arm away but he only held on tighter. "Just let go of me."

"Honey, you know I didn't mean it."

"Don't," She turned and glared at him now. "Don't you dare call me that."

"Fine, Sara," He said corrected. "Just let me explain…" She struggled against him and he finally lost the grip on her arm. This time she wasn't going to take no for an answer and practically dragged Hank back in the direction of the house.

"I said I don't want to hear it."

"Come on, you're being ridiculous!" He shouted after her. She froze. It sounded so much worse coming from him that from Nick.

"No James, you're wrong." She said, holding back the tears she could feel boiling up inside her. "Letting you 'explain' would be ridiculous, trusting you for even one more second would be ridiculous…"

"You know if you're going to behave like this maybe I don't want to apologise."

"Fine." She carried on walking. He hesitated for a moment then ran to catch up with her, grabbing the back of her cardigan which slipped down to reveal to him the marks he had left the previous night. She froze again and spun around, her heart was pounding and her words were stuck in her throat. She pulled the material back over herself and wrapped her arms protectively around her body.

"I tried to call you." She couldn't answer him. "Sara, I really am sorry." He said gently.

"No," She stammered, "No you're not." She backed away. "Please just go."

"I can't do that Sara, not until you listen to me."

"Just leave me alone." She started to walk back towards the house again, standing now on the front lawn. She could sense him following her and turned, shouting this time, "I said leave me alone!" She had never been so relieved as to hear the voice that came from the house behind her seconds later. Nicks gentle southern tone called out to her.

"Hey is everything alright out here?" He didn't fully understand the scene in front of him, having heard little to nothing of the previous conversation, but he understood enough to know Sara was pretty upset. "Sara?" He walked down the steps towards her.

"No Nick, let's just go." She didn't look up at him, just gently took his hand to try and lead him away. He however, kept his eyes on the man she had been talking to.

"Can I help you sir?"

"Yes actually…."

"Please Nick, we should go inside." She said more urgently this time, daring to look up at him. He could see the tears shining in her dark eyes and suddenly he hated the stranger that stood with them.

"Who is this guy Sara?"

"He's nobody." She pulled his hand again. "Let's just go…"

"Actually, I'm Saras boyfriend, James." The man introduced himself and Nick cast Sara a questioning glance. She tugged on his hand again but Nick wasn't about to let this go.

"And what are you doing here?"

"I live a couple of blocks down, I was just walking to the store." He explained. "Our meeting here was just a… happy coincidence." He smiled at her, fixing his eyes on hers.

"Believe me," She directed at him. "Nothing about this is happy."

"That's because you're not listening to me Honey…" He sneered.

"I said don't call me that!"

"Funny," James spoke again, clearly getting fed up of this game. "You don't seemed to mind what I call when you when I've got you in my bed." Nick felt Sara tense beside him. "You don't mind what I call you, what I do to you…"

"What did you just say?" Nick stepped forward to confront him now.

"You heard. I'm saying our little Sara here can be a real slut when she puts her mind to it."

"Don't you dare talk about her like that!"

"I'll talk about my girlfriend however I see fit."

"I am not your girlfriend." Sara said quietly, not able at that second to muster up much above a whisper.

"What was that honey, you'll have to speak up?" He took a step closer to her and Nick could feel his fists clenching at his side.

"I am not your girlfriend." She said more loudly and slowly, her whole body tense and he head pounding with the anger of him being here.

"Well we'll see about that." James stepped closer again but Nick shoved him backwards. He stumbled but quickly regained his balance.

"Hey man, get out of the way." He said, the aggression growing in his tone with each word. He was much bigger than Nick, a couple of inches taller and wide with it, but Nick was not going to let that stop him from defending his friend.

"No way, you're not coming any closer." He said. "Sara's made it pretty clear she doesn't want you here."

"Sara doesn't know what she wants."

"Actually I think she does." Nick stepped towards him again. "And what we both want right now is for you to leave."

Catherine chose this moment to step out to front of the house herself, wondering where Nick had wandered off to. She cast her eye quickly over the scene in front of her and soon realised that it wasn't good.

"Oh really." James stepped closer to Nick and it was he this time pushing Nick backwards. This was all it took for Catherine to run towards them to intervene. She ran past Sara who was frozen to the spot, begging the boys to stop, Hanks lead still held limply in her hand, and grabbed hold of Nicks arm then James', pulling them apart to stop the fighting.

"What is going on out here?" She shouted, glaring at Nick, waiting for an explanation.

"Nothing Catherine. This Jack ass was just leaving." He spat. James pulled his arm roughly away from Catherines grip.

"Fine." He looked the female CSI up and down as he took a couple of steps backwards. "Don't think I won't be back though." This made Nick lunge towards his again, his right arm outstretched to punch the man across the face but Catherine held him back.

"Stop Nick, he's not worth it."

"Want a bet." He tried again but Catherine took hold of both arms this time, positioning herself between the two men. She looked up to him, waiting until his eyes met hers before she spoke.

"Trust me Nick. Just take it easy ok." Her words and the look in her eyes seemed to do the trick this time and he stopped pushing against her. He looked back over to James, not taking his eyes off him until he had crossed the street. "So do you want tell me what just happened?" She probed. He didn't answer just looked around for Sara. But she was already gone, leaving Hank sat alone on the path, his lead hanging idly by his side.

"Not right now Cath, I have to go find Sara." He ran in the direction of the house, Catherine calling after him.

"Nick…" He didn't respond but just kept walking towards the house. She rolled her eyes and gave an exacerbated sigh. She walked over to Hank and picked up his lead addressing him as she did so.

"And a fat lot of use you were. You're a dog, aren't you supposed to help in these situation? Bite the bad guy, or at least bark or something?" He tipped his head to one side and looked up at her as though contemplating what she was saying. He gave a single bark and offered her his paw. "Exactly, but it's too late for that now." She sighed again and patted him the head then started to lead him back to the house. "Well maybe you were just looking after our girl huh? Maybe your dad has you well trained after all."

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**Sorry this chapter is quite short but felt it needed to end there...**

**You've probably cottoned on to what's happening now but tune in soon for chapter 5 as it all comes out into the open... **


	5. Chapter 5, Her tears, his kiss

**Once again, thanks so much for all the reviews. The support for this story is really appreciated and I'm really enjoying writing it! This chapter is a big one and I hope I can do it justice... As always your feedback is much loved!**

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Hank bounded enthusiastically back into the garden pulling Catherine along behind him. She dropped his lead and he skidded to a halt at Grissoms feet. It didn't take Grissom more than a couple of seconds to realise that it was a different woman who had brought him back to that who had taken him out in the first place.

"What happened to Sara?" He asked, trying to sound as impartial as possible though truthfully he was now more worried than ever that something was not right with her. Catherine hesitated before she answered, glancing around at the crowd of faces waiting for her response. She debated with herself: to tell them what she had just seen outside, or to blow them off until she knew the full story. Sensing there was something very personal here that Sara would not want everyone to be involved in, she opted for the latter.

"She just went for a walk with Nick." She shrugged. "They wanted some alone time, you know how they are." She caught a glimpse of jealousy cross Grissoms face but didn't dwell on it. "BFFs and all that."

"BFF?" David asked.

"I believe it stands for 'best friends forever'" Hodges supplied smugly.

"Right." She nodded. "So um…" She thought quickly of the first thing she could that might change the subject. "Another drink anyone?" Only Warrick, Greg and Henry took her up on the offer and she made a quick exit to fill the boys' orders. She poured herself another glass of the sangria first and quickly downed half of it, hoping it might help calm her nerves. She topped it back up, grabbed three beers and returned to the rest of the gang where she perched herself next to Warrick. She seemed unsettled Warrick thought. He couldn't help but watch her as bit her bottom lip involuntarily and ran her hand back through her hair, the tell tail signs that she was over thinking something. She kept casting him sideways glances, wanting to talk with him but knowing better. She turned her head to the sky, squinting at the orange haze of the setting sun, willing the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach to fade. But it wouldn't. She couldn't shake it and she couldn't concentrate on the conversations going on around her. Without realising it she had finished her drink again. "I need a refill." She mumbled, standing up and walking away. Warrick saw his chance and was close on her heals.

"Hey wait up." He came to her side, running his hand down her slender arm. "You alright there?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" She didn't look at him as she spoke.

"It just seems like maybe you're not so alright?" She shrugged and pointlessly rearranged the drinks on the table so as to make herself look busy.

"How um, how's the food coming along?" She asked.

"Grissom and Brass have it under control I think." She nodded, satisfied. "Not avoiding the question by any chance are you?" He pushed.

"No." A tense smile spread across her face. "Everything is uh… Everything's great." She could tell Warrick wasn't convinced. She cast another nervous glance at the house, wondering what Nick and Sara were up to and why they weren't back outside yet. "You know I think I need the bathroom." She thrust her glass into Warricks hand and hurried inside without further explanation and without looking back at the concern and confusion in his dark eyes.

...

Meanwhile, Nick had finally tracked down Sara in Catherines en-suite. He hadn't even hesitated before entering her room figuring she wouldn't mind given the circumstances. He was stood outside, his hand hovering over the closed wooden door, pausing for a moment before knocking.

"Sara, you in there?" The distinct sound of her retching on the other side of the door answered his question. "I'm coming in ok?" He said, not waiting for her to answer. The sight of her bent double over the toilet, being violent sick made his heart ache. He winced at the noise as he rested his had reassuringly on her back.

"Please just go away Nick." She managed to say, sniffing back her tears. She straightened herself up, not only her bruised and battered side hurting now but every part of her body. "Please." She begged. He walked round so he was stood in front of her, wanting to see her face, his hand never leaving its position on her back.

"Sara…" He struggled to find the words he wanted. "Sara please look at me." When she didn't move, he gently placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her face to be level with his. Her eye line stayed on the floor though and she tried to turn away. "Sweet heart please," His sentiment and the sadness in his voice finally made her eyes meet his. They had never looked so unhappy he thought. But there was something else there too, something Nick couldn't quite put his finger on. Humiliation maybe. "You have to talk to me." She shook her head as more tears started to fall. He step forward to taking her in his arms but even the gentlest pressure along her side was too much and she pulled away, gasping with the pain. He stood watching her, not knowing what he'd done wrong, not knowing what to do next. She was falling apart on front of him, barley holding it together enough to stand and he felt powerless to stop it.

"I can't…" She sobbed. "I can't do this Nick, I'm sorry." She tried to pass him to leave he wouldn't let her, quickly stepping into her path.

"You can't go." He said quickly. "I mean not like this." There was a long pause as he considered his next words. "Please let me help you, I can't bare to see you like this Sara."

"I just feel like such an idiot." She mumbled. He frowned, not sure how this could be the case. "I've been so stupid."

"I'm sure that's not true…" He said gently, reaching out to her again but she flinched before his fingers made contact and he held back.

"Well it is true," She could feel the hysteria rising again. "I should have known better… I should never have let him…" And the crying turned to sobbing, full blown body shaking sobs. And it hurt, really hurt. With each sharp and desperate breath a stabbing pain shot across her body and she found herself falling forward, her body curling against itself as she tried to control the agony. And without hesitation, Nick was there, a hand under each elbow, trying to support her weight.

"Ok Sara, I think we need to get you sat down." He slowly pulled her towards him and back into the bedroom. He sat her on the edge of the bed than quickly went to close the door so they could continue to have some privacy. Gently he sat down next to his friend and placed a reassuring hand on her back. "Just try and take some deep breaths ok." Then for a long time he didn't say anything, just ran his fingers in small circles over her spine and waited patiently for her to regain some control.

"Sorry" She mumbled eventually.

"Hey now, there's no need to be sorry." He said gently.

"You should be outside enjoying you're night off, not in here with me and my mess of a life…" She wiped the tears from her cheeks and let a slow and shaky breath.

"You know Sara, whatever happened to get you so upset, I'm here for you." She nodded but didn't look up. "Now I'm not going to force you to talk to me, but I really think you should." When she did finally look at him and saw the desperate worry in his eyes, she immediately felt herself dissolve again.

"Oh god…" She chocked. "This is such a mess…" Again he waited in silence for her to continue. "James… well we broke up last night…" Her voice trailed off.

"Hey I'm sorry, I know that must suck." Nick was a little confused. Sara had dated guys before and broken up with guys before but it was never like this. There had to be more to it.

"We'd only been together a couple of months, it wasn't even that serious." She explained. Nick recalled her mentioning a guy she had met at a bar a while back. She had been on a couple of dates with him but then he'd not heard much else about him. Nick supposed James was that guy. "But he wasn't good for me…" she continued and he nodded encouragingly. "Nicky you promise you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you?" She met his eyes, begging him to do as she asked.

"Of course." She nodded, taking a moment to compose herself again.

"He um… he hit me" She said slowly. Nicks face dropped. Of everything he had been thinking she might say, this was the last thing he wanted to hear. "And you know what the stupid thing is?" Tears were streaming down her face again now. "I let him. He did it once and I should have left then but I didn't… and I don't know why. I know, I know how stupid it was, we see it all the time and I hate it and I should have known better!" She was growing more and more frustrated with herself. She pushed herself up from the bed and started towards the window but stopped as pain struck her again. And suddenly Nick was beside her, his had under her elbow.

"Take it easy." He said gently. After a moment, his hand came carefully to the bottom of her vest. Their eyes met, his seeking permission for what he was about to do. Slowly he pulled up the light fabric to reveal the ugly blue mark that spread across her body. He felt sick to his stomach at the thought of someone hurting his friend like this. He let go of the clothing so it hid the wound from him again but the image wouldn't leave him. "Sara… what happened to you?" They were silent for what felt like the longest time.

"The first time," She started slowly. "We had both been drinking, one of his friends' birthdays… He said it was an accident, said he was sorry and I believed him." She shrugged. "The second time was a week ago… We had that double homicide case, the two kids…" Nick nodded that he knew the case she was referring too. "I had done a double shift, I was tired. We'd planned to go out but I wanted to rearrange… he didn't so much want to rearrange." She said bitterly. "I should have walked away then." Nick knew there was more to come and truthfully he dreaded hearing it. The bruises he'd seen were not a week old and must have taken some serious force. "Last night…" She was struggling now, he voice faltering. "Last night he was really angry… Nick he, he really scared me…" And before she knew it she was sobbing again. "He tried to force himself on me…" Nick was sure he felt his heart break in two as he heard those words. "He pinned me to the bed… I fought back and he beat me…" She shrugged off her cardigan to show the wounds on her arms which, as she predicted were much darker now too, Nick winced at the purple finger shaped marks that marred her delicate pale skin. "I got away" She continued. "And I just ran… I didn't know what to do so I just… wandered around for a while until I found the bar. I just sat there until you called… I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't have done that…" He wanted to tell her that she should have called him for help, should have trusted him to be there for her but he knew now was not the time for a lecture.

"Sara I'm sorry…" He knew his words were probably of little comfort. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you but you've done the right thing, speaking up about this." She nodded in response though right now, with how awful she felt, she wasn't sure it was really true. "Have you called it in?" She shook her head. "Been to the hospital?" His suspicions about her answer confirmed as she shook her head at this too. "I think maybe you should Sara, that bruise looks pretty bad. I think you may have broken a rib."

"I don't want a hospital Nick, I just want to forget."

"Maybe they can give you something for the pain." He offered but again she shook her head. He wasn't going to push going to the police again right now as he knew she'd just refuse. He could only hope that when she was over the shock, she would agree to speak to them, get the justice she deserved for what James had done to her.

"Why is it that I only attract losers? Cheaters and liars and guys who want to take advantage of me and…" She wiped away angry tears and ran her fingers back through her hair. "It's like I kiss a guy and bang: he turns into some giant creep or worse…"

"Come now, you know that's not true." Nick tried to reassure her.

"Well there's nothing much tells me otherwise." She sighed sadly. Nick thought for a moment, then his impulses took over. He took a small step closer, his hand coming up to her cheek. "Nick what are you…?" His lips met hers, for just a few short seconds.

"And how about now?" The corners on her lips turned up into a small smile. They both heard a noise from behind them and turned to look at the door. Catherine was stood there, a look of total shock on her face.

"Sorry to interrupt," She stuttered. "I should go." She turned and left as quickly as she came. Nick turned back to Sara.

"You know that was… I mean I didn't want to… I don't…." He stumbled over what he was trying to say.

"God no." She said predicting what he was trying to say. "You're like my brother."

"Right." He was relieved his actions hadn't been misinterpreted. "Right. It was just to prove a point." He said hurriedly. She raised an eyebrow in question. "That not every guy you kiss turns into giant creep." He said paraphrasing her earlier words. "I should…" He gestured towards the door. He nodded, understanding that he needed to explain to Catherine what she had just seen. "I'll be right back ok." And he ran from the room after the blond, leaving Sara stood alone in the dim light of the bedroom.

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**Soooo...What do you think?! And again, update coming soon :)**


	6. Chapter 6- Secrets and lies

**Ahhh thank you all so much for your response to the last chapter! :) Hope I can continue to keep you all interested and invovled in the emotions of the characters!**

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"Catherine," Nick called after his friend as he hurried down the hallway after her. "Cath Wait!" He caught hold of her hand as she rounded the corner into her kitchen. "Let me explain, it's not what it looks like." She turned around sharply to look at him, her hair flicking dramatically over her shoulder.

"Really Nick because it looked like you were kissing your co-worker?!" He could hear how angry she was. He opened his mouth to speak but she carried on. "And not just any co-worker, this is Sara. Sara! Nicky what were you thinking?" She hustled him back into the living room, aware that her other guests, who were out in the garden, could potentially hear their argument. "Grissom will kick your ass!"

"Well Grissom has no right to." He said bluntly.

"Maybe not, but you see how he is with her. If you ever hurt her, your life would not be worth living."

"Oh come on Cath, you really think I could ever hurt her?!" He asked, insulted by her assumptions.

"I don't know what to think right now."

"Well I couldn't." He said definitely. "Besides it not me hurting her you need to worry about." He started to say before realising that in this one simple sentence, he may have said too much. Her face changed to one of confusion and he quickly tried to back out of the conversation that he worried may be coming. "Anyway, like I said it's not what it looked like."

"Then what is it?" She asked. "Nicky….?"

"I was just…." He hesitated, not sure how to end the sentence. He could see concern filling Catherines' striking blue eyes. "We're just friends."

"And what I saw outside...?"

"Was nothing."

"That's total crap Nick and you know it. The look on her face, the look on your face… I think I'd have been walking out to a crime scene if I'd been just a minute later." She said seriously. She'd seen him get angry with people before but nothing like that. He had had a look of pure hatred in his eyes. But Nick wouldn't answer, just shook his head. "So what is it Nick? He been hitting on your girl?"

"No" He said, wishing that's all it was. Had he know when he had seen James exactly why Sara was so upset by him being there, he was sure not even Catherine holding him back would have been enough to stop the man feeling some serious pain. "And once again, she's not my girl."

"So what then?" She pushed.

"It doesn't matter Cath." He said shaking his head and turning away, gesturing to the hallway. "I should get back to her." He nearly made it from the room before Catherine made one last attempt to pry information from him.

"I can see how worried you are about her." This stopped him in his tacks. "I'm worried too." He turned to look at her and could see she was being truthful. "Call it womens intuition but I can tell she's hurting. Ever thought maybe I just want to help her too?" He could feel himself weakening. Truthfully, holding back this big secret was already eating him up inside. He knew too that he had no idea what to do to help Sara now, short of getting her to speak to the police, but tonight was not the time for that. Maybe, just maybe, Catherine really could help.

"That guy…. He's a recently ex-boyfriend." He started slowly, his voiced hushed. "He's not such a good guy." He said, keeping things as vague as he could. "She just wasn't prepared to see him is all."

"And what do you mean by not a good guy?" She asked but she could see immediately that he wasn't going to be too forthcoming with any more detail. "Does he do drugs?"

"No, nothing like that."

"So…. He wasn't good to her?" He didn't respond so she pushed this line of enquiry further. "Did he…hit her?" She asked hesitantly. He looked at the floor and again didn't answer. This in itself told her all she needed to know. Everything fell into place. "Nick?" She wanted him to tell her it wasn't true but the sinking feeling in her stomach told her that she wasn't going to get what she wanted. "Oh god." She whispered, running her fingers over her forehead and back through her hair. Catherine knew all too well how the younger woman must be feeling, her own ex-husband having violent tendencies. And for a brief moment the feelings of fear, betrayal and humiliation came flooding back, surrounding her, threatening to drag her down. She took a deep breath, shaking them off. Now was not the time. Now was the time when those feelings could make her stronger for Saras' sake. "How long's this been going on for?"

"They've only been together a couple of months. Everything came to a bit of head last night."

"But she's out now right, I mean she's told him she doesn't want to be involved with him anymore?"

"Right."

"Ok good. That's something at least." She said, trying to reassure herself as much as anything. "Has she reported him?" He shook his head no. "Will she?" She asked, knowing how hard it could be. Nick shrugged.

"I hope so but I'm not sure. She's a bit of mess right now." He said, knowing this was an understatement really.

"Yeah ok," She nodded. "You know I should let you get back to her, take her home." He nodded but didn't move, just shifted uncomfortably on the spot. "You ok there cowboy?" She frowned placing a gentle hand on his strong, muscular arm.

"What am I supposed to say to her Catherine? I feel like nothing I can do can make this any better…" He said sadly. She considered this carefully for a moment. True they dealt with victims of domestic violence at work all the time, but this was different. This was their friend and nobody wanted to think of their friend as a victim. Nobody wanted to think of their friends hurting like this.

"Nobody's expecting you to turn back the clock Nick. You can't make this go away. You got her to talk about it right?" He nodded. "Well that's a big step." She reassured him. "Just keep doing what you're doing…. Except for the kissing part." She smiled, trying to lighten the heavy dark mood that was hanging around them. "Maybe lay off that a little."

"Well I can't make any promises on that front." He smirked before is tone turned more serious again. "I did though promise Sara that what she told me would be between us. She didn't want anyone else to know…." He said feeling guilty that so long after he had made this vow he had broken it."

"My lips are sealed." There was a knock on the door and the two friends turned to see who had joined them.

"Food's up." Grissom smiled glancing between their two faces. He could tell he had interrupted something important by the tension which filled the room.

"Great." Catherine smiled after a few moments of awkward silence.

"Sara's not with you?" The older man asked. Nick glanced at Catherine, hoping she could come up with a response to this quicker than he could.

"She uh, she had to make a phone call." She lied. "Why don't you go find her?" Nick nodded obediently and slowly back out of the room to go and find his friend. Grissom and Catherine fell silent again. She gave him another fake smile and gestured out towards to kitchen. "Shall we?"

"You know you've never been a good liar Catherine." He said simply without moving from his spot in the doorway.

"I don't know what you mean." She laughed nervously. She tried to leave but he stopped her.

"What does Sara not want us know?"

"What?"

"What does Sara not want us to know?" He repeated more slowly.

"How long have you been standing there?" She asked, concerned for the younger girls privacy.

"Long enough to become worried but not long enough to know why." She pouted at his very Grissom-like answer, not in the mood for it now. "So…? What can't we know?"

"Point is she doesn't want us to know." Catherine sighed. "So just leave it ok."

"You're always telling me to look out for the team, take an interest."

"Now's not the time though Gil." He could tell be her tone and the warning look in her eye that she was being serious. It didn't stop him worrying though and didn't stop him wanting to know what it was that had Nick and Catherine so on edge. He followed her wordlessly outside, but his mind was elsewhere.

…

Nick quietly pushed open the bedroom door and his eyes a moment to adjust to the dim light.

"Sara?" He spoke quietly. His eye fell onto the bed where she lay on top of the sheets, her back to the door. He didn't need to see her face to know she was sleeping, her body finally giving into the exhaustion. He took a couple of tentative steps forward, afraid to rouse her. He watched her slow, rhythmic breathing and for the first time all night he felt a little relieved. Catherine was right; he couldn't make all this go away but he could help her to come through the other side. And she needed to rest more than anything right now. It was good to see her so calm. He crept around to the side of her and pulled the blanket from the bottom of the bed to cover over her bare legs, afraid she'd get cold and wake up. He studied her face to find it red and blotchy from her earlier tears. He gulped back his own emotions and slowly, quietly moved away from her. "Sleep tight princess." He said pulling the door closed so as to leave her alone with her moment of peace.

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**Soooo what do you think? **


	7. Chapter 7- What he deserves

**Oh my goodness. Thank you all so so much for the feedback so far! Hope this chapter can live up to expectations...**

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For some time the party continued as though nothing was wrong, as for most of the guests, nothing was. They were told by Nick that Sara had a headache so had gone to lie down for a while. "Nothing to worry about, she'll be back out soon I expect." He had said, shrugging it off and filling his mouth with a burger so as to avoid further questioning. Greg had joked that she should drink through the pain but Nick knew the pain she was feeling was not the kind that that needed to be fuelled by alcohol. The youngest CSI had then suggest a drinking game but was quickly shot down, much to Nicks' relief as he wanted to keep a clear head for Saras sake. Catherine did not seem to be taking the same approach however and had, under Nicks watchful eye drank a considerable amount more since they had come back out into the garden, trying he supposed to forget the thoughts that hung heavy in her head and in his. She had sat herself again beside Warrick, one hand resting gently on his bare arm, her free hand restlessly playing with a strand or her fair hair. Nick forced more food on a plate into her lap to try and keep her sober, noticing she had only picked at what she had already taken and worried that a drunk Catherine may also be a careless one. He didn't want her saying anything out of place. He saw Grissom watching her too but said nothing. Catherine and Nick had both avoided talking to their supervisor since their encounter inside. Neither of them wanted to lie to him but equally they didn't want to betray Saras' trust. In Nicks' case, it was more like not betraying her trust more than he already had. He could only hope Sara would understand his reasons.

They managed over an hour of drama free fun before Hanks superior canine hearing alerted him to the door bell ringing. He had been sat happily at Wendys' feet, sensing she was a soft touch and so the most likely to 'accidently' drop a piece of sausage on the floor for him. He scrambled to his feet and started barking. He looked urgently to Grissom, then to Catherine before dashing into the house in full voice. Catherine was puzzled. She wasn't expecting more guests and even if she were, it was a little late on in the evening for them to be arriving now. She pushed herself up from her seat and followed him inside, Grissom close on her heals. Be it because of the alcohol or because of sheer optimism that some part of the evening could actually go well; but the sinking feeling didn't hit until she actually saw the mans' face on the other side of the door. She visibly sighed as her eyes fell on James. She should have known.

"What do you want?" She asked, her voice just as rude as she intended it to be.

"I would have thought that was obvious." He gave her a forced polite smile. Grissom, from his position hovering awkwardly behind Catherine, frowned at the man in the doorway. It didn't seem obvious to him. The only thing that seemed obvious was that Catherine didn't want the man to be here.

"Well you can forget it." She went to slam the door in his face but reacted quickly, pushing back to keep it open. Grissom took a tentative step forward, ready to intervene if needed.

"Come on, I just want to talk to her." He reasoned.

"You are not getting anywhere near her." Catherine pushed hard against the door but he only pushed harder back. "You've already done enough damage."

"Look I don't know what Sara's been saying to you…"

"Oh she's told us exactly what kind of man you are." She made another attempt to close the door but this time, with his temper rising, James pushed it with such force that Catherine stumbled backwards and straight into Grissom. He caught her in strong hands and helped her regain her balance.

"That's enough!" He shouted, not letting go of his steadying hold on Catherines' arms. "Now I don't know who you are but…"

"Of course," He interrupted. "How rude of me not to introduce myself. I'm Saras' boyfriend…"

"You are not her boyfriend!" Catherine shouted back at him. "You're a disgusting, violent scum bag who has no place in that girls life!" She lunged forward at him, freeing herself from Grissoms hands, but James pushed her away, his strength making light work of her slim frame. The impact with the wall knocked the air from her lungs, leaving her momentarily shocked and speechless. Grissom was at her side in seconds, placing himself protectively between her and her attacker, his hand under her elbow as she tried to recover.

"Get out. Now," He warned in a low and angry voice. "Before I call the cops."

"Too late." Nick was there now too, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. "I already have." He had realised who may be at the door seconds after his two friends had headed inside, having remembered what James had said earlier coming back for Sara later. He recognised the mans' voice as he walked through the living room and had instantly made the call.

"You're bluffing."

"Try me." The two men stared at each other as a threatening silence fell over them for a moment. Grissom ushered Catherine further away from the intruder who was now stood fully inside the house.

"You'll regret it you know." He snarled. "She'll regret it." The threat was enough to push Nick over the edge and he launched himself at Saras abuser.

"You bastard, you lay a finger on her and I swear to God…" The two men stumbled out the door as they struggled and before anyone had a chance to react they were brawling on the floor. James, being the larger and more naturally violent of the two men, quickly had Nick pinned to the floor beneath him. Grissom grabbed his shoulders to pull him off his friend but not before James had punched Nick square in the jaw. His lip bled on impact and though he would hate to admit it, with the weight of the man pinning him down, Nick was for a moment scared. Then it hit him that however scared he felt in that moment, it was nothing compared to how Sara must have felt the previous night when it was she who was held beneath him. And she was alone, with no friends beside her to help fight the battle. Alone and scared and vulnerable. Another wave of anger filled him and between them Nick and Grissom managed to push James away. He stumbled down the steps and landed on the grass. Nick tried to wipe the blood from his face with the back of his hand as he tried to catch his breath.

"You're a pathetic excuse for a man." Catherine shouted. "Only a complete coward would do to a woman what you've done to Sara."

"Oh I'm the coward?" He yelled back. "I'm not the one hiding inside while my friends try to ruin what's left of our relationship."

"Oh I think you already did a pretty good job of that yourself," She spat. "When you treated her like she was some kind of punching bag." There was no point in trying to hide this from Grissom now and Catherine wanted this man to know exactly what she thought of him.

"She only got what she deserved…"

"No woman deserves to be beaten by their so called boyfriend." Nick chimed in angrily.

"I'd have done more than beat her if I'd had more of a chance…" Disgusted by what this implied Nick ran at him again and pushed him to the ground. It was only the sound of the police siren as the car rounded the corner which stopped him from launching a more full blown attack. James got to his feet and staggered backwards. He knew it was too late to run. Nick stood wordlessly, his fists clenched at his sides the uniformed officer placed cuffs around James wrists and pulled him roughly back towards the car. Nobody said anything for a few moments, just stood in the darkness waiting for their collective rage to subside. Eventually though Grissom broke the silence.

"You ok Catherine?" He asked, turning his head to face her. He could see her shaking, her eyes shining with tears. She forced a stiff nod. "And you Nick?" The younger man was stood alone on the lawn with his back to them and for a second Grissom thought maybe he hadn't heard him as he gave response. "Nick?"

"Let's go inside." Was all he said as he walked towards them. They all turned back into the house but froze as they saw three faces staring back at them. Greg, Warrick and Brass stood in the entrance to the living room each with a look of confusion and concern on their faces. They had heard the sirens and volunteered on behalf of the group to come and investigate.

"What just happened?" Greg asked nervously.

"Honestly, I'm not sure." Grissom answered. "Catherine?" He looked to her for a fuller explanation. She took a deep, shaky breath in and slowly out.

"I'm too drunk to deal with this right now." She admitted in a quiet mumble, rubbing her forehead with her hand as though trying to push away the fog that was descending over her. "Let's…. let's just all go and sit down… and go on and enjoy the food and…."

"Cath…" Warrick tried to stop her. "What's going on?"

"Is this about Sara?" Greg guessed.

"It' nothing, it's just a little misunderstanding…" She lied. "Go on, enjoy yourselves. We just… I just need a minute…" She turned to head back outside for some fresh air but stopped when she saw one of the police officers hovering on the doorstep, waiting politely to speak to them. She turned back and shifted uncomfortably on the spot.

"It's ok Cath…" Nick ran a hand slowly down her arm trying to calm her obvious agitation. She knew Sara wanted and needed the truth to be kept private for now but she couldn't think of a way out of this and it was making her panic.

"You know we can just call a couple of cabs and head home if you all need some privacy?" Warrick offered.

"That might not be such a bad idea." Nick said gratefully as Grissom nodded in agreement too. "And I think we could all do with some coffee." He added, taking charge for a moment. Catherine was trembling under his fingers and he could feel his own nerves making him feel as though he was doing the same. "Grissom could you…?" Grissom nodded and headed the kitchen to oblige. The others followed him through with Nick taking up the rear. "Sorry officer, why don't you come on in? Looks like we've got some explaining to do."

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**Sorry it took a little while to come but I hope you all liked it? Please review again for me. I'm loving writing this story anyway but it's great to know what you guys think! x**


	8. Chapter 8- Too much too soon

**Ok sorry its taken a while again guys. hope to be quicker with updates again now!**

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When Sara eventually flickered open her eyes she wasn't sure how long she had been sleeping for. In fact, for a moment, she wasn't even quite sure where she was. But as the fog of sleep lifted she remembered: after Nick had left her, she has sat on the bed, fighting back another round of tears. She had laid back, only intending to take a short and quiet moment to clear her head but must have fallen asleep.

Sighing, Sara rolled over to look out the window. It was dark outside with the only light coming into the room that of the orange street light across the road. She reached to the bedside table, searching blindly for a lamp. Her fingers eventually found the switch and she winced as the bright light flooded the darkness. She sat up slowly and uncomfortably, and swung her legs to the floor. She ran her hand through her hair and sighed again. She stood up, the effort making her head spin as tiny white dots danced in her vision. She waited for the fuzzy feeling in her head to clear but when it didn't she lowered herself back onto the bed and took a few deep and shaky breaths. She realised she hadn't eaten in hours, not since the start of last nights shift, and she was starting to regret the numerous beer she had opted for in replacement of food and sleep. She wasn't sure what to do now. She didn't much fancy re-joining the party, if indeed the party was even still going on, something which she wasn't sure of either. It was probably best she decided, to call a cab and head home to wallow in self-pity on her own. Her cell phone though was in Nicks car so she would have to find him first. She came to her feet again, more carefully this time and made her way to the door. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she passed it and for the second time that night found herself staring at a strange shadow of herself in the reflective glass. She looked down to the image of her bare legs and gulped back the bile which threatened to edge up her throat as she saw a dark mark appearing on her inner thigh to join those already tarnishing the skin on her arms and torso. She hoped her friends wouldn't see it in the darkness outside if she could make a quick enough exit. As she emerged into the hallway though, she could hear hushed voices coming from the living room. She hesitated for a moment as she tried to place them. The first was Nick and the womans voice was Catherine. Figuring that at least Nick already knew what had happened between her and James and she could probably avoid talking much with Catherine, she carried on to the living room. She hovered in the doorway as she spoke.

"Hey." She said quietly.

"Sara!" Nick got up from the sofa and came towards his friend. "You're awake. How're you feeling?"

"I'm ok." She shrugged, casting a cautious glance in Catherine direction. Nick smiled at her uncertainly and led her to the sofa, gently pushing her down before she had a chance to object.

"Is there anything I can get you Sara?" Catherine asked her politely with a sympathetic smile.

"No I'm ok." She repeated. "I'm sorry I fell asleep Cath, I only meant to sit down for a minute…"

"Don't be sorry. It looked like you needed the rest." She was assured.

"I guess." She gave the older woman half a smile and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "How long was I sleeping?"

"A couple of hours." Nick answered. "The others all called cabs just a little while ago."

"Not on my account I hope?" Nick and Catherine gave each other a nervous glance. Neither wanted to be the one to tell her what had happened while she was resting. The awkward pause was cut short though as Grissom bustled into the room, three coffee cups balanced careful in his hands.

"Coffees all round." He said without looking up. He didn't notice Sara had joined them until he placed the cups on the table and looked up. "Sara," They both looked equally startled for a moment. Sara had assumed Grissom had left with the others. "I didn't realise you were awake. How're you feeling?" She was already sick of this question.

"I'm great, thanks." She was suddenly very aware of how bare her legs were, of how obvious the mark on her pale skin was. She rearranged her hands to cover it up. Grissom looked to Catherine for some help, not sure how to handle this, but no help was provided so he came up with a quick route out.

"I'll get you a drink. Coffee ok?" She simply nodded and watched him leave. There was a silence hanging over them again for a moment.

"Sara…."Nick started gently. "There's something…"

"Nicky what happened?" She asked in an alarmed tone. She hadn't really looked up at her friend she had come into the room and now saw for the first time the split in his lower lip that was now starting to swell up horribly. She brought her hand up to his face, a finger resting gently below the wound.

"That's actually what we need to talk to you about." Catherine took over. "While you were asleep James came back to the house. He wanted to see you but we wouldn't let him and he and Nick got into a fight…"

"Wait, who's 'we'?" Sara asked worriedly.

"Nick and I… and Grissom?" Catherine said slowly, her words realising what Sara already feared.

"Y..you and Grissom..?" Sara stuttered. She looked back to Nick, the hurt evident in her face. "I told you in confidence Nick…"

"No you don't understand…" He tried to interrupt hurriedly.

"You promised me you wouldn't say anything." She stood up and made for the door.

"Sara wait," He stood up too and reached for her, his fingers catching her wrist. She stopped suddenly.

"Nick," She turned to look at him with tears shining in her eyes. "I trusted you."

"Sara, Nick didn't say anything." Catherine cut in, jumping to Nicks defence. "I was upset and worried about you and I just… guessed about you and James and everything that's happened, what he did to you... He wouldn't have said a word if I hadn't."

"And Grissom?"

"He doesn't know everything just that you and James broke up." Nick assured her. She could see the sincerity in his eyes and could see he was sorry for any upset he had caused her. She nodded as he let go of his gentle hold on her arm.

"But you know?" She said weakly turning back to Catherine now. The little white dots were back again.

"Yes." Catherine nodded. "And Sara I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. And not just tonight, I mean everything. If there's anything I can do…?"

"Really Cath I just want to forget everything…" Grissom reappeared at that moment, his voice making Sara jump.

"I have your coffee" He smiled in Saras direction, holding out the steaming mug. His smile quickly faded though. "Sara are you ok? You look very pale." She shook her head, suddenly feeling very much not ok. She was aware of Nick taking hold of her again and saying her name, pulling her towards him and lowering her down onto the sofa. She tried to take a deep breath to clear her head but the effort only served to make mind swim more. There was a hand resting on her back, she guessed it was Nicks but wasn't sure. "You should take off her cardigan, try to cool her down." Grissom suggested to Nick who agreed and without thinking started to pull the fabric off her arms. Grissom and Catherine instantly saw the dark marks on her skin. Catherine cast Grissom a nervous look, hoping he may not have noticed but could tell by the horrified look on his face that he had. His eyes met hers trying to silently communicate with her but she looked away and back to friend who looked even weaker now.

"Lie down." Nick said gently pushing her back and picking up her legs to try and get some blood flowing back up to head. The next couple of minutes were a bit of a blur to Sara. She was aware of her friends' voices but not really of what they were saying. Her eyes finally fluttered open to see three worried faces looking at her. Nick helped her sit up and Catherine thrust a glass of water into her hands, sitting herself down so Sara was between the two of them.

"Thanks." She mumbled as she took a small sip of the cool liquid.

"Have you eaten today Sara?" Catherine asked quietly, pulling Saras' hair back from the side of her face and tucking it behind her ear. Sara shook her head.

"I'm sorry. I guess all this has taken it out of me more than I thought. "

"Gil why don't you go see if you can find something for her?" She turned to the older man. "See if we can get that blood sugar of yours a little higher huh." She smiled at Sara but was still very worried by the pallor of her skin.

"Actually, I'd rather just go home."

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Grissom said sitting himself on the edge of the coffee table so she was facing her. "You still don't look well Sara."

"I'm fine."

"You just fainted, you're not fine." He said bluntly.

"It's been a long day." She sighed, placing the glass of water on the floor and proceeding to play nervously with her hands.

"What about your arms? The bruises? Do you want to tell us what happened?" He clearly didn't know that the others knew much more than he did about the nights events. The two of them had made every effort to not talk about James since coming back into the house following his arrest. Nick had hustled the officer into the kitchen to tell him all he needed to know but then nothing more was said.

"Actually Griss…" Nick said hurriedly, worried this conversation was only going to upset Sara again when she was already feeling obviously weak and vulnerable.

"No Nick, it… it's ok."

"You don't have to do this." He said to her gently, his voice only just above a whisper.

"It doesn't matter now." She assured him, giving him a grateful smile to let him know she appreciated his efforts to protect her privacy. She paused for a moment, thinking of how she would explain to Grissom of all people why she was here like this. She didn't look at him as she spoke, sure she would freeze up if she could see his face. "You met James." She started. Grissom nodded for her to continue but she still wouldn't look up and only continued when she felt she could control her voice enough to stop it shaking. "He's my ex. The bruises are from him."

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**Tune in next time for Grissoms reaction! Reviews make me happy! :) Thanks for reading. **


	9. Chapter 9- Revelations

**Sorry for the cliff hanger last time guys but here it is, the one you've all been waiting for. Honestly I'm a little nervous about this one. I hope it lives up to what everyone is hoping for?!**

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"You met James, he's my ex. The bruises are from him."

Her words hung heavy in the air. It was just a s horrible to hear them a second time around for Nick, worse for Catherine than having Nick tell her and just plain horrifying for Grissom, learning for the first time about Saras abuse. Nobody spoke. Sara could hear her breathing loud in her ears.

"Please say something." Sara said quietly, her eyes fixed on Grissom.

"How did it happen?" He asked calmly, even though inside he had never felt less calm.

"These are from last night but it um… it's happened before…" She paused, swallowing back her tears as Nick ran his hand slowly up and down her back. Grissom watched her unmoving.

"When did it start?"

"Maybe six or seven weeks ago. We hadn't been together long the first time. I should have known better." He frowned at her with sad eyes.

"Sara, you weren't to know what kind of man he is."

"But when I found out I should have left. I should have walked away and I wouldn't be in this mess now… I should have seen the signs, I mean it's not like I haven't seen it before…" She covered her face with her hands as she took a moment to try and compose herself. Grissom found himself unsure if this previous experience she referred to was through work or through her family or quite likely both.

"You know Sara, it takes a lot of strength to walk away from a violent relationship and nobody expects you to be strong all the time…"

"But I do. I expect it Grissom!" She cried.

"I know that Sara, I do. But you need to understand that what you have done in just a few weeks takes some people years…"

"But it was weeks too long, weeks of him beating me down, making me feel like… like a child again…" She looked into his eyes, begging him to understand her meaning. Begging him to know that she felt now the same way she had when her father had been alive, the same way she had fought to get past for all these years. Her whole body was shaking, tears streaming down her cheeks. "He hit me and then he…he… oh god…" She dropped her head to her knees, gasping for air between the heavy sobs. Grissom slid from his position on the table opposite and knelt in front of her, taking her hands silently in his own. It was not the first time she had broken down in front of him, but this time it was so much worse. This time it wasn't about her past or about something she had already fought through; this time it was about her present and about something she had a lot of fighting left to do for. Nick and Catherine both had their hands on her back now and Sara felt for sure she would have passed out again if they hadn't all been there to support her. Catherine looked to Nick, searching his face sure there was something here that he hadn't told her.

"Sara…?" She choked back her own tears as she spoke. "God Sara I'm so sorry." The younger woman eventually lifted her head. She could see the pity in Grissoms eyes and she hated it.

"Did he…?" Grissom started to ask her.

"Don't say it." She begged. She knew what he was going to say, that he was going to ask if James had tried to rape her but the thought of hearing the word out load made it all seem too real. "You already know the answer Grissom just please don't say it." He nodded, not wanting to make her hurt any greater than it already was.

"You need to know Sara, you're safe now." Nick assured her. He had seen how scared she was knowing that James had come back for her and wanted her to know she needn't be anymore. "We called the cops when he came back to the house. He can't hurt you now…" She looked up to him, shocked it had come to that.

"That doesn't mean they can keep him though Nick." Grissom pointed out. "They can't hold him for assaulting you…"

"Oh come on…"

"We need to be realistic here."

"The bastard forced his way into the house, he threatened all of us, he threatened to hurt Sara again!" He shouted.

"Nick you need to calm down."

"Calm down? Look at her Griss, look at what he has done to her!"

"Nick this isn't helping." Catherine chimed in, seeing that the shouting was only upsetting Sara more. He took a moment to look at her too and realised his mistake.

"You're right. Sara I'm sorry. I'm just…. so frustrated. I wish I could do more."

"No it's ok…. I need to speak the police. It's just so hard." She shrugged.

"You don't need to do anything until you're ready." Grissom said calmly, giving her hands a reassuring squeeze.

"I know." She said quietly, then after a moment: "What happened exactly, when he came back?"

"He tried to force his way into the house and he said some things that were really out of line. I called the cops but we got into a fight before they arrived. I didn't tell them about what he's done to you Sara, I didn't want you to feel like you had to…" She nodded.

"Thanks." She gave a watery smile. They fell quiet. Grissom could feel Saras' eyes on him.

"Nick, Catherine, can Sara and I have a moment alone?" Grissom asked. Nick seemed reluctant but they both nodded and Catherine placed a gentle kiss on Saras' head as they left for the kitchen, closing the door behind them. He moved to sit beside her, their knees inches apart. His eyes fell to the marks on her legs but he quickly looked away, trying as best he could to preserve her modesty. He handed Sara her coffee mug. He was conscious she still looked pale and weak.

"You should drink this." She nodded and took a few careful sips of the sugary liquid. She liked how he always remembered how she liked her coffee. "How are you handling this Sara?" He asked eventually.

"Brilliantly actually." She said sarcastically. "Hysterical sobbing is exactly the look I was hoping for this evening." He gave her a look that said this answer would not do so with a sigh she tried again. "Honestly, I don't think I've ever felt so… vulnerable. You know what my family was like… I swore that what happened to my mum, to me and my brother… I swore it would never happen to me again. And this time I was in control. This time I'm not just a scared kid who couldn't get away… This time I could leave and I didn't, and I hate it." She shrugged. "I just feel really… on edge and I've not been sleeping so well…. I just didn't want anyone to know… especially not you Grissom." She confessed.

"Why? You know we would only want to help. We're not here to judge you Sara."

"Because of the looks and the apologies I keep getting for something that's not your fault, not anybody's fault but mine…"

"You understand this is not your fault Sara."

"No stop, please stop lying to me and trying to make me feel better. This whole thing only escalated because I let it." He didn't say anything, just looked at her with an increasingly worried frown. "You know it's true Grissom."

"You asked me once Sara if I thought that violence had a genetic component, that if just because you had a violent family member you too would be violent could even be a killer" She nodded remembering all too vividly the conversation in question. It had been the night she had spoken to him about her family, about her violent father and murderous mother. "Do you think you have a gene that makes you vulnerable to violence too, that makes you let these things escalate?"

"I don't know. I hope not. Do you?"

"No, I was just…. curious." He shrugged. "You seem so sure you let this happen to yourself when really it James' nature that's really at fault here." She thought about this for a moment, not entirely convinced but at least understanding his point.

"I do think I maybe have an inherent liking of men that are no good for me though, that does seem to be the pattern I fall into." She said sadly.

"Maybe you just haven't met the right man?"

"Or maybe I have but he just can't admit it." They fell silent and she started to nervously play with her dark hair as she cradled the near empty mug of coffee in one hand. "I don't want you to feel sorry for me Grissom, I've never wanted that…"

"Am I allowed to feel angry?" She gave him a questioning glance. "At James not at you." He clarified. "I'm angry that he could do this to you Sara. The thought of that man touching you… He's lucky it was only Nick who had the nerve to fight him." Sara laughed slightly at this. The thought of Grissom punching anyone seemed so alien to her. He was always so restrained. "And I'm angry at myself," He added. "That I didn't notice that you were hurting and that I haven't made myself more available to you."

"You're available now."

"Though I feel it's too little too late." He confessed. "I'm glad you could speak to Nick."

"He didn't leave me much choice. You know how he is." She shrugged.

"He's very perceptive. He cares for you deeply I think."

"He's one of my best friends, the best maybe…. I've been kind of horrible to him tonight…" She said regretfully.

"Nothing that isn't already forgiven I'm sure." She shrugged, hoping this was true, knowing for sure it would be had things been the other way around.

"Do the others need to know?"

"No. They know that James and you were involved that's all and it can stay that way if you want it to."

"I do." He watched her as she chewed on her bottom lip, her hair falling so her face was largely hidden. He could see she still looked sad though he knew that what he wanted to say may only make things worse, more confusing for her, but he had to chance it. This moment felt to him like one of those 'it's now or never' moments he had read so much about.

"Sara…. I know the timing of this is poor but I need you to know that what I said about Nick, the same stands for me too. I mean not so much the perceptive part as I think we have established that at least with you, that's not true of me…. But the rest, the rest is true. And will always be true." He took her hand in his own and she turned so her dark eyes met with his. "And while I may struggle with expressing how I feel, I never struggle with knowing that what I feel is true and real and with knowing that it makes me happy. And if there is the slightest chance that knowing it can make you happy too then I want you to hold onto it."

"So the right man can admit it after all?" She smiled, searching his face carefully to see if she had understood him correctly.

"That he cares for you? Yes I guess he can."

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**So what do you think? Please please review so I know! And be honest, I can take it I'm sure haha!**


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